It was meant to be the greatest night of your life. You got to Vegas, checked in, and started getting ready for an epic night out. Found the perfect clothes, did the hair just right, and hit the town. Club XS, Sayers, and finally Drai’s and after all the craft cocktails, champagne and party favors, unbelievably…you still had money left. So what if you needed the bar to keep standing, you partied like it was dooms day, and it was about to get better – you met that special someone. The kind of meeting that only happens in Vegas, and you both agree to go back to your room and get consensual. It’s about to happen, or so you thought. Problem: There was two of you at the bar, but for some reason, you’re now seeing four of you. Gettin’ down and dirty will have to wait until you’ve sobered up. But have no fear, has compiled a list of 5 things to do when you’re too drunk to f@#%. Check ‘em out.

1. Eat Something you Lush

Food in the stomach soaks up the booze. For once, you want to go heavy on the carbs. We suggest checking out Earl of Sandwich at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino. Simple eats, and even better – no booze. That way, you can order easily, and furthermore, you won’t be tempted to get sloshier than you already are. If you’re in the mood for something sweet, check out the Cupcake ATM at the LINQ Promenade. Swipe your card and instead of dispensing cash, this machine gives you a cupcake of your choice. Or, if you want a Short-Rib Benedict, check out The Henry in The Cosmopolitan. They’ve got an exceptional late night breakfast menu that will stick to those whiskey-drenched ribs.

2. Play Pool

Head over to Cue Club, 1 mile east of the strip, and try your pool skills with some 8-ball. Open 24/7, this pool hall caters to the late-night hustler in us all. With 39 tables, video poker, a video game arcade, 250,000 song jukebox and a full menu, there’s plenty to do while you sober up. Any kind of movement other than bring a glass to your mouth will help. Furthermore, in some primitive cultures, competition between the sexes qualifies as foreplay. So dry out while shooting some stick. Could be just what the doctor ordered.

3. Get Massage

Nothing is more relaxing than a massage, and if you’ve been drinking, it can make the difference between waking up fresh, or waking up with a hangover. While there are plenty of places to get your rub down, most of them will be outside of your hotel. Good news is that there are several massage parlors open 24 hours where you and your hook-up can find comfort and relaxation away from the strip. We also recommend you find one with a steam room. Sitting in 110 degrees of fresh water steam will push the alcohol out your pores. You’ll leave rejuvenated, and recuperated.

4. Dance

Here’s one that requires no traveling at all. Chances are you did your drinking at one of the premier Vegas clubs you read about here, on Step away from the bar and onto the dance floor. We have the best DJs in the world. Use them to work up a sweat. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think you can dance, because exercise is one of the best ways to drain the distillery that your body has become. And don’t forget to drink lots of water.

5. Got to  F’n Sleep

You had a great run. It was a fantastic night filled with friends and memories. Even though it’s Vegas, you DON’T HAVE WRECK YOURSELF. Go up to your room and pass out. There’s no shame in this, and chances are, you’ll wake up in better shape than everyone else. As we say here at Live to F@#% another day. 

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